Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

Published on Monday, April 20, 2009 at 12pm

For the whole list go check out this page.

300: Gays kill blacks.
ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
BREWSTER’S MILLIONS: Black man abuses line of credit.
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
CHASING AMY: Homosexuality proved to be passing fancy and sign of sexual deviance.
CHEERS: Alcoholic cuts lime in bar as penance for his womanizing ways.
CRANK: Drug addict spends last day in orgy of rape and violence.
CUJO: Family neglects to give family pet rabies shots, pays price.
DAREDEVIL: Blind man pisses off crime boss, gets all his girl-friends killed.
DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.
DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality.
DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.
DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.
FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF: Amoral narcissist makes world dance for his amusement.
FIELD OF DREAMS: Schizophrenic builds ball park, almost kills girl.
FIGHT CLUB: Deranged sociopath guides yuppies to their deaths.
FRANKENSTEIN: Scientific advancement proves unpopular with general public.
GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.
GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
HALLOWEEN: Babysitter’s relationship with murderer places children in danger.
JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives.
LABYRINTH: Girl is negligent baby-sitter.
LOLITA: Man encourages step-daughter to take chances.
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
ROSEMARY’S BABY: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
STAR TREK: Over-sexed officer routinely places crew in danger.
STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
SUPERBAD: Boys plan date-rape, sleep together.
SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
THE GOLDEN COMPASS: Critique of Catholicism upstaged by polar bear fight.
THE GOONIES: Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.
THE MATRIX: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.
THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.
THE PROFESSIONAL: Hired murderer sleeps with little girl.
THE WICKER MAN: Isolated religious community revitalized by newcomer.
TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.
TWILIGHT: Girl gives up college for stalker.
V FOR VENDETTA: Dystopian government overthrown by faceless conformity.
WAR OF THE WORLDS: Immigrants face difficulty acclimating.
WATCHMEN: Homosexual destroys New York, blames God.
WEEKEND AT BERNIES: Two employees take advantage of their boss’ hospitality.


In the comments, write your own Uncomfortable Plot Summaries. Here's mine:

DOGMA: Decendant of christ reluctantly stops Ben Affleck from destroying universe.
CLERKS 2: Aimless loser partakes in interspecies erotica at his McJob, finds love.
FUTURAMA: BENDER'S BIG SCORE: A band of losers and nudists exploit time travel for personal gain. Robot destroys all humans, along with universe.
GHOSTDOG: THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI: Fat black man kills white mobsters. Enjoys ice cream, dies.
JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK: Two stoners go on a road trip to prevent millions of dollars coming their way. Meet Will Ferrell and a monkey.
HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE: Two stoners go on a road trip to eat food. Meet Neil Patrick Harris and a cheetah.